A view like this from our back deck can make you feel like you are home. But often it takes more than a view to make a place really seem like home.
During most of my corporate career I traveled a lot. We lived in Roanoke, Va for over eighteen years.
Much of that time I was driving up Interstate 81 and spending time in Reston at Apple's office beside the Dulles Toll Road.
Eventually I got to the point that I could no longer take staying in
a hotel. It did not matter how fancy the hotel happened to be. I just
wanted something that did not change and felt like home.
I was lucky in that my oldest daughter graduated about that time,
and we rented a two bedroom apartment in McLean. The first summer my
son came up and slept on the living room floor so he could do an intern
job.
It wasn't too long before my daughter bought a three bedroom
townhouse in Reston. That became my second home. The smallest bedroom
became mine temporarily. I could leave clothes and toiletries three.
I didn't have to make reservations, and I got to spend time with my
Northern Va. family.
While having a bed and my own space was a huge step towards home,
having familiar surroundings outside the home also plays a big part in
making an area feel like home.
In today's world more often than not the stores are same, only the
people change. Still there are differences. I used to enjoy an
occasional visit to Reston Kabob. There were many nights when we would
meet for dinner at Marie's at South Lakes Plaza. Marie's which has been
gone a while was a family kind of place. They knew me since I would
grab lunch there also at least once a week.
Beyond the restaurants there were the grocery stores since I always
cooked my own breakfast and tried to a cook a meal or two when I was
visiting. I used to frequent the Giant on North Shore. It was small
and sometimes even ran out of chicken breast or hamburger, but I could
get in and out of there in a couple of minutes.
Of course having a Books a Million and a Barnes Noble was like having a dream come true to a reading addict.
Still my favorite spot was Whole Foods. While I enjoyed Trader Joe's, I often marveled at the plants and exotic foods
that made it to the shelves of Whole Foods. Some of the things I
enjoyed from Whole Foods became such a part of my routine that I would
load a cooler up with ice and take them home to Roanoke.
The other night we were headed from Roanoke to Cape Carteret to find some warmth,
and I was on a mission. I wanted to find the Whole Foods in Cary, NC.
It did not take a lot of effort. It was just a short distance from
where 64E run into US1 N.
When we turned into the parking lot late that evening part of me felt like I was home in Reston.
It was a good feeling finding some familiar things that had long
been absent from my routine. I was saddened to find that Icelandic
Salmon no longer makes it to Whole Food's cases, but there was no
shortage of good things that could be replacements.
It was a great experience aside from having to drag my wife out of the orchids at the front of the store. She was overwhelmed.
As much as well known stores and a house with your things can help
make a place field like home, routine and rhythm also play a part.
Every place has a different rhythm. Synchronizing yourself with it makes you feel part of the place.
In Reston, traffic is one of the key rhythms. You learn to structure
your life around the traffic jams. Timing what you do according to
traffic flow becomes second nature. You go to lunch when you know you
can find a parking place.
In Roanoke ice and storms in the winter immediately restructure
people's lives. If you live on a steep hill, you know when the sun
will melt the ice and likely what time in the afternoon that it will
refreeze. You make plans around those times. Some roads you just
avoid when ice is prevalent.
In Cape Carteret, we are even closer to the elements. Weather is a
big topic just like it used to be when we lived on a farm in Canada.
When the weather is good or there is beautiful sunset on tap, you will
find people making time to enjoy it.
Beyond that the shifting regularity of the times for high and low
tides often adds structure to our lives. We are in place with lots of
water spread very thinly so it makes sense for people to know when low
tide will arrive.
Finally it takes people to make you feel at home. In Reston I had
family and an office family. Most weekends I was home so my church
family and other friends remained in Roanoke.
Now that we are in Cape Carteret, I have an office family, a church
family, and a neighborhood which is southern enough that I actually
know several of the my neighbors. We have also started making some
other friends. It's pretty easy to do here on the coast.
The stores here are pretty different from Reston and Roanoke. We
do have an Ace and a Lowe's Home Improvement, but there is no Giant and
no Kroger (the Roanoke grocery store of choice). And the closest Whole
Foods is about 2.5 hours away.
Yet I do believe that the most important thing in making a home is
your mindset. If you want to find the good in place you will find it.
My Giant on North Shore and Marie's are gone. Reston will never
feel like the same home again. I have changed also, and my office
family is long gone.
Even in Roanoke, my neighborhood Ace Hardware disappeared. We recently visited our favorite inexpensive restaurant, the Pancake House,
and they were closed temporarily due to the lack of help. Roanoke
might never be the same home again either. It has changed along with me.
So we cannot depend on stores to make a home for us, we have to put
our trust in our own minds to build our homes with the pieces that we
find and our own changed realities.
Sometimes we move and have to regroup the pieces, but it can be a
very positive experience. Change is constant, and you can always go
home if you carry part of it with you in your head and look for the
good in your new surroundings.
Maybe that mindset is why I have managed to be happy for so long.