Thirty three years and still going

Well actually I have no idea how long the Wiener-mobile has been going, but as of this past Friday, my wife Glenda and I have been married for thirty-three years. 

Glenda won't let me post a picture of her so we happened to see the famous hot dog car today, and I thought its uniqueness is similar to our marriage relationship.

I don't know that I really want to completely describe our relationship, but I do want to point out a few things that I think will help lots of people starting on the road to marriage.

First and foremost is that your love for you partner should manifest itself in almost everything you do.  That doesn't mean you can't do things for yourself, it just means that whatever you do,  you need to think of how it will be seen by your better half and what the impact will be. Also remember to share the spotlight with your partner.  The truth is that you wouldn't be in the spotlight without the encouragement and support of your better half.  He or she also belongs there with you.   You need to share the great times and the tough times equally.

Secondly, do things together, and even more importantly make decisions together.  Almost everything we do, we talk about over and over until we come to a consensus.  Now we'll joke that my standard answer to questions on fabric and color are almost always "yes dear," but I know Glenda tries to think about what I would like, and I trust her decisions in that arena completely.

Third, realize that you're in this together, and that you need each other more than you need the approval of others.  Never make a serious joke at the expense of your wife or husband.  The short lived laugh might not be worth the hurt if your partner ends up thinking you're actually making fun of them.  Love your partner more than you love the approval of others.

Fourth as many people have said, never go to bed mad.  Try your best to make up.  Learn to talk through disagreements, and seriously consider your partners opinions.  Learn to care about what your partner cares about.  A little give and take can make life a lot easier.

Fifth try to surprise your partner by doing something unexpected to help them get through their day.  The unexpected things make a huge difference.  Empty the dishwasher if you're a male or maybe help wash a car if you're female. 

We've had thirty three wonderful years together and this list is far from complete, but it's a good start on our next thirty three years.  A few kisses and hugs won't hurt either.

Comments

[Kristen]

I think what you said is genius in it's simplicity. If everyone could just have this as a daily reminder, I think a lot of relationships would be infinitely simpler.

The part about reflecting upon how your partner would see the things you do is what I feel a lot of couples forget, and I am glad somebody else really agrees with me there.

So you want to leave your wife for me? ;)

[ocracokewaves]

Well I know Glenda would like to send me on my way every now and again, but as tempting as the invitation might appear, I think I better stick around for the next thirty three years.

If I disappeared there wouldn't be anyone around to make the coffee in the morning, to cook breakfast, help with the dishes, or mow the yard. The grill would never get used but of course the amount of dirty laundry and clutter in the house would drop drastically...

Thanks for the nice comments. :)

[bob sobotta]

I've enjoyed reading your material.