We moved from Canada in 1987. It would be fair to say that we have spent more than our fair share of time since then convincing Americans that Canada is not snow covered the whole year.
Do not get me wrong, doing a little work to help the Canadian tourism industry is fair exchange for the wonderful years that we had in Canada. However, this May 2009 outbreak of snow in Edmonton is really hard to explain to Americans who are getting ready to begin their annual pilgrimages to the beach.
I can show nice pictures of trees, water, and sunsets and pretend they are Canada, but it does not do a lot of good if Edmonton is buried under a blanket of white.
Americans have a hard time figuring on why anyone would want to live as far north as Edmonton anyway. When you add late May snows, Canada as country ends up being dragged into the snowdrift.
We have heard that Alberta has enough tar sands to heat the world, so why is it snowing in Edmonton in May? Have not Canadians had enough snow this year? Is there some plan to store this snow and use it to capture the winter Olympics?
Why is there a place in the world over 30 degrees Fahrenheit cooler than we are this morning? I am sure our weather is suffering because of Canadian sins. It may well be time to send in the Saint Bernards with their casks.
Is the snow in Edmonton an effort to share the spotlight with the hockey teams in Stanley cup semi-finals? After all the Canadian teams are missing in action this year.
Maybe Canadian tire dealers are stuck with extra snow tires that need to be sold. Whatever the reason, it is time to halt this mid-May snow madness. We have had enough snow chilled air dropping below the border to cover us for the rest of the year. Save it for August when we could use some cool air.
Think of the tomatoes that might be in danger of frost, spawned by all this cold weather.
Canadians are amazing people. You can put 100 Canadians in a restaurant, and the noise level will not rise above a whisper. It you put 100 Americans in the same restaurant, it becomes a mad house, and we will probably invade a country.
Surely the quiet resolve of our Canadian friends can stop this fiendish May snow.
If the snow does not stop, we can almost guarantee that Dominion Day, otherwise know as your one true day of summer, will be a non-event this year.
Since the opportunity is strong that this might actually happen, I suggest all Canadian immediately make plants to evacuate to the south. We are willing to take our fair share. We have room for close to 100,000 temporary residents so perhaps you can send the expatriates from the Maritimes who are working in Alberta.
They will have cash and can help us settle the long running debate as to whether New England style clam chowder is better than our Downeast style chowder.
They will also fit in well with our fishermen and farmers. It we get a cold nor'easter in the summer, all it will do is make them homesick for Halifax in July.
Any fog will make the folks from Cape Breton think they have been transported home. I see it as a win-win situation. With the continuing snow, you will probably have to shut down some operations anyway, and we would love to have some Canadians with their pockets full of money drop by for a visit.
Things are ready for visitors on the beach. We can even find some nice homes if our imported Maritimers grow fond of the area after their toes and noses have turned from blue to pink.
I suspect Coastal NC will surprise most Canadians. Our Coastal Paradise is just that, a great place to enjoy with no threat of snow. They will find it very close to Paradise.
If you have any questions about the suitability of the area for Canadians, just check this blog and its index. If you want more information there are lots of pictures and links at this site.
