The Crystal Coast, Salt water on my feet

My thanks to those who moved before me

There was a moment the other day when I was visiting a property here on the coast that made me want to pull up a chair and sit down for a spell.

I see lots of different homes and usually I try to tuck away one feature that might be special about a particular listing.

Once in a while, even in the heat, or maybe especially in the heat, I get caught thinking about what it would be like to sit and talk with the people who first lived in a place.

The cozy spot in the picture has been around for twenty five years. It started as a raw lot, filled with trees and brush.  A lot of hard work made it a comfortable home for a husband and wife who in this particular case took the risk of moving to a place far way from where they spent most of their adult lives.

There were not many year around residents when they moved.  I am sure they faced plenty of challenges, but I am willing to guess that those challenges ended up adding richness to their lives.

I know people who have moved lots of times and people who have barely left the area where they were born.  I don't know that one group is wiser or happier than the other.  They are just people who have different priorities.

I do know that it takes some courage to pack the the bags and move to a new spot.  You have to ride your dreams to get to a new place. Once you are there, the only way to really make it a home is through hard work that may not resemble the dream.

Yet most new comers persevere because going back does not fit their personality.

When I moved to Canada to raise cattle, it was a great adventure filled with lots of back breaking work.  I never dreamed that I would come back to states working for a computer company.  Apple Computer did not even exist when I moved to Canada. A move sets in motion wheels of change that cannot be predicted.

When visiting online forums I see lots of folks who spend time asking questions about a new place.  Sometimes they are very serious, and just looking for the right kind of information to motivate themselves to move.  They need the right neighborhood or a certain kind of house.

Then there are a few folks who ask endless questions looking for the perfect place without ever realizing that there is no such thing as a perfect place.

Actually maybe that is wrong.  If there is a perfect place, it is up to you to make it so.

Some people do not really have that spark which drives you to actually pick up stakes and moves.  That reluctance is understandable.  Moving is filled with unknowns and has plenty of stress.

It is hard moving from an area where you have made great friends and perhaps raised your kids.

I do not know what separates the people who will gamble on a move from those who dream but never act. I think I was born with a little wanderlust.

However, I know that meeting and working with people in an area before I move has always eased the strain.  As I find good people, they fill in the gaps that Google with its clever daily intelligence or glue for the modern world cannot.

Talking to people and sharing your worries is hard if you do not know people well, but it is a way to get to know people well.

I enjoy meeting people, helping them, getting to know them, and sometimes letting them listen to my problems.  It helps a lot when moving.

In the end I am thankful for those people who have been willing to try a new place, to hack some of the brush back, to find those secret waterways, and to populate some of the more challenging spots in America.

Without the people who could dream of the beauty and actually have the courage to bet their dollars on finding it, we would never have gotten to enjoy some of American's best spots.

If I had a choice of talking to someone no longer around, I would rather sit back on the porch and talk to those who lived their dreams rather than who lived in a dream.

While moving anywhere in American today is a lot easier than it was 25 years ago there are still challenges.  Technology has made it much easier.  Access to the Internet is in places I would never have guessed.

Services like those on this map make even those of us who live just beyond the reach of the big box stores  pretty comfortable.

Comfort is all relative.  Some move to find it.  Some do not move to keep it. Others find comfort just in the act of moving.

Sitting on the warm porch in the picture brings back memories to me of another time, and another place when I was surrounded by family. 

It was a good time, we were young and the memories are still fresh of those great days in the fifties and sixties. 

]Perhaps I do so well in moves because not only do I haul the old memories with me, but I am pretty good at creating some new ones.

Some Advice to My Kids

I was writing a post on my Ocracokewaves Blog tonight, and I remembered this post.  I wrote it about three years ago.

Three years later, there is nothing in here that I would change.  Of course the three kids are all out of college now, and I still haven't figured out if all of them ever read it.

I guess it will be here if they ever need it.

-DLS

It's been almost a year since I left the corporate world of Apple. It's been one of the best but most challenging years of my life.  The changes have been immense, and it has given me time to explore lots of new things and a chance to stand back and perhaps glean a few nuggets of wisdom from my experiences in the real and corporate worlds.

Here my first crack at list of what I've learned since my education expanded beyond the relatively safe confines of Harvard Yard in 1971. Perhaps I should call it, "56 Thoughts from 56 Years."  These aren't in order of importance.  It's more a function of where my brain has been this morning than anything.

1. Always do what is right no matter what the personal cost is.  You won't regret it.
2. Never shirk from standing up for others, a life where you care only about yourself is a hollow one.
3. Always do you job to the best of your ability.  Anything less is cheating yourself not your employer.
4. Leave every organization that you have been part of and every place that you visit, better for your having been there.
5. Expect the best of others only if you are willing and able to do the same in their position.
6. Try to never burn bridges, and always attempt to mend fences unless you have to give up your principles to do it.
7. Value people not for what do they but for whom they are.
8. Not everyone has your specific skills, but everyone has skills to contribute to the success of the team.
9. The best teams are the ones where people are willing to whatever job that needs to be done, no matter what their job description.
10. Though this is listed as number ten, it is the one rule you must remember.  Your family is more important than your job which means give them your full attention every chance you get.
11. You will run into some really bad people, just don't let them force you into doing bad things. Don't be afraid to stand up to these folks especially if you can protect others.
12. You will run into people who gain your trust and then disappoint you either through lying or manipulation.  Don't let a few bad eggs destroy your faith in the rest of us.
13. Take the time to do things right the first time.  It ends up being more productive in the end.
14. Don't be afraid to learn from others. In fact when you get near someone who has more skills or knowledge than you, work at being a knowledge sponge.
15. Try not to make someone look bad in front of others, if you have a problem with someone have a private conversation about it.
16. Speak the truth even if it hurts, but don't assign blame, you might not know the whole situation.  Sugar coating a situation will just come back to haunt you.
17. Try to have an open mind for new ideas especially when they come from others.
18. If at all possible build a consensus around important decisions, it's worth the effort and time.
19. Everyone makes mistakes, try to be tolerant and give people more than one chance.
20. When someone is obviously not capable of doing the job, be honest with them but help them find something which better matches their skills.  They will thank you for it.
21. Never ask someone to do something you're unwilling to do.
22. Remember to carry the water buckets when necessary and never be afraid to get your hands dirty helping others get their jobs done.
23. Never quit learning and trying new things especially if they make your job and that of others easier.
24. Hold yourself more accountable than those with whom you work. Never expose someone to blame when you can shelter them from the powers that be.
25. Deliver more than is expected of you and be happy with less than you expect from others.
26. Understand that how much money you make or what your title is are not as real  a measure of success as how you treat the people around you and the respect that they give you.
27. Know when the train has left the station. Be prepared to either be on it or find something else to do.
28. If you find yourself in a company that lies to customers or hides key information that employees need to do their jobs, find yourself a new job.
29. Respect the achievements of others even as you make certain you give credit to everyone who helps achieve a task before you take any credit.
30. Try to laugh at yourself occasionally.
31. Learn how to grow things.  Getting your hands dirty is good for the soul.
32. Learn how to build things.  Building things is better than tearing things down.
33. Go for a walk in the woods as often as you can and while there learn to appreciate the changing seasons, and the quiet of nature.
34. Challenge yourself with new activities, that keep your body and mind moving.
35. Don't forget how to swim, you may need it someday.
36. Go camping just so you can appreciate your soft bed.
37. Don't trust anyone that mistreats animals.
38. Take the time to help others, especially family members achieve their dreams.
39. Take care of yourself, by taking the time to exercise and staying away from fast food.
40. Always be thinking about how you can improve your habits.
41. Learn to appreciate a good bottle of wine and/or a glass of beer.
42. Figure out how to cook a few things well, you won't regret it.
43. Clean up after yourself, no one enjoys being someone's maid.
44. Take good care of the things you have worked hard to obtain, someday you might not be able to afford a replacement.
45. Recycle things that can be recycled, throw away stuff you don't need, but keep all your good memories.
46. Experience the unconditional love of a dog, even if you have to borrow one.
47. Don't stop looking for someone with whom to share your life.  The pain and effort  are worth it.
48. Figure out something you love to do. Learn to do it extremely well and with great  passion.
49. Don't forget the others who have been part of your lives, stay in touch. Your life will be richer for those efforts.
50. Call home once in a while, we still want to a tiny part of your lives.
51. Take the time to walk on an isolated beach if only to listen to the waves and dream of limitless possibilities.
52. Never try to be someone you aren't.
53. Try to never take your anger out on someone else, if you do, apologize as fast as possible which means don't go to bed mad.
54. Remember your loved ones at birthdays, anniversaries, and holiday times.  E-cards cost nothing but your time.
55. When someone talks to you give them your attention if at all possible.
56. Always wear steel toed boots when you mow the lawn and your seat belt when you're in the car. You never know what might happen.

I don't claim to be a perfect practioner of all these, but I keep working at it.