There is no manual for parenting. I guess much of how you do it is programmed by how you were treated by your parents. I never got to spend a whole lot of time with my father, but my mother certainly was as supportive a parent as humanly possible. She was always there when I needed her, and even later in life she was there when my wife and I needed her.
We have tried to help our kids get established in life. And we are proud of their accomplishments. As the years move on, my goals have changed.
I am not expecting to write the great American novel or be remembered for my career selling computers or raising cattle. However, I am hoping that the job we have done with our children will create some responsible adults. For the most part, I think they are well on the way.
I still expect plenty of bumps. Our life had its share, and some of them made us much stronger. They also make great stories now that they are far in the past.
Like many parents we have been involved in a number of moves. I will never forget my oldest daughter's move from Seven Corners to McLean. The rental truck we got was so bad that no one would ride with me. Then I can remember wrestling a mattress on board a pickup truck late one night in North Carolina after being assured that we were not needed. At least we were not needed until all the friends disappeared.
Now we are in a transition phase. While we are still helping our youngest get established, our older grown adult children are starting to help us. I often call my son to ask his advice on technology. Recently I bought a Droid smart phone. It was mostly because he bought one several months ago, and I could depend on him to answer questions if I got stuck. Also when it came to buying a Windows 7 laptop, his blessing of Windows 7 was a key factor in my purchase decision.
Now we are working on cleaning out our home. Our oldest daughter has already been a big help in the work we have gone through over the years in consolidating things from family homes as our parents passed away.
It is nice to have someone to lean on now that our parents are gone. As the years go by, I am sure there will be things which pass us by, and we will need even more advice and support. The world is getting more challenging and complex not easier.
Still it is nice also to be needed. This week our youngest daughter was having new hardwood floors put in her home. They needed a place for their two big dogs who have never been in a kennel. First we volunteered to keep them, and then when we fully understood their time predicament, we actually left at 5:30 PM and drove almost three hours, took them out to dinner, loaded up the dogs and got home sometime after 1 AM. The deer will be a little surprised the next time they try to nibble some green off of the last remaining azalea.
As my mother used to say, you never pay for your own raising until you raise one of your own. I guess that about covers it except for two last thoughts which we tried to drill into our children.
The first is that home is where you are always welcome. The second is whenever you need us, just call any hour of the night. We will come immediately as long as we are able. That is what family means to us.
As the beach season starts to open, we are hoping for a great year of family fun on the Southern Outer Banks of North Carolina.
